4-23-10

I cannot carry tears in my eyes anymore, it is just my hands are shaking, and I can never get them to stop. My legs follow, and I wan to run, but I can not run far because I am afraid so afraid. I am leaping, and bounding over everything and I know there are meadows and forests just beyond my sight, if only I can make it that far. I am free of sound, alone, so alone. No rhythms, no regularity. All sound has gone except for the sky’s whispers, and the static that surrounds me. Years worth of memories flood my thoughts and flow through my blood. I need to be sewn back together once I let them out. Can you see me? Do you see me? Your eyes are closed, open them. Sadness is shaking you, further and further down you fall, but you have these eyes, use them, you could see me if only you opened them. I want to see you, I need to see you again. We will fall into meadows, laughing, and we will fly through the summer, but only for a moment. I don’t want to be slain by the memories, I don’t want to drown in the thunder. I will pretend you are here, my eyes now closed, reaching out, reaching. But I’m lying to myself, for when I open my eyes I am alone.