4-29-10 2

my eyes are open
but everything is black
instead of closing them I just lie on top of my sheets pretending to count the angels I wish were in my room with me
instead there are only ghosts
i imagine that your arm is behind the curve of my neck
and your hand on my cheek
your fingers running through my hair
but now my eyes are closing
and everything is white.
i’m listening for my heart to beat
but my chest is hollow
I am hollow and caving in
I am painting your body with rich adjectives and love
my dreams are falling flat and leaving me without air
i have been spending my nights sketching your hands on my walls
and your eyes on my ceiling
but no matter what I do
i have yet to see the moon
i splattered paint over every surface that I could see
until the world bled rainbows
and we were able to dive in and out of the clashing hues
angels swam with us
envious of the beauty that emitted from us when our hands touched